Confidence is the ability to be one hundred percent openly and unapologetically yourself. Something I can honestly admit I do not have enough of.
So why, you ask, am I writing a post about something I’m not qualified to talk about?
Because I have done my fair share of bold, outrageous things, none of which I regret for a second. Because I have had the confidence to do a lot of things, once upon a time, and occasionally have the guts to do something totally out of my comfort zone and rock the hell out of it.
Middle school is a difficult time. As is high school. And college. You go through many adjustments, changes of heart, changes of clothing, changes of career and life goals, and sometimes changes of personality. And as an organism that is driven towards social acceptance, it’s difficult to make choices for yourself that don’t align with the current popular opinion. Pressure from peers, media, parents, superiors, financial concerns, trauma, you name it.
But you ultimately need to do what is right for you. And by right, I do NOT mean go become an Instagram model, because that is not for you. That is for the likes, the fame, and the attention. If you want to look good for yourself, do it. But don’t do it for others’ approval.
Take some time to soul search and ask yourself if this is who you want to be, how do you really want to feel? Once you’ve figured that out, stick to it. Be consistent. Constantly changing your mind and plans will only make it harder for you to feel confident in your choice.
So you’ve made your decision to be you. But what if people don’t like your laugh, or what if they think you dress oddly? Or what if they think you’re too studious or too wild? Do they think I’m too outspoken? Do I annoy people? If the answer is yes, then you are not hanging out with the right people (within reason, you are still expected to respect yourself and others).
Find people you don’t mind being yourself around, and DO NOT APOLOGIZE. Do not be “sorry” for how you act and how you dress. Yes, you may initially be doubtful, but it takes time. Again, consistency is key. You will find yourself surrounded by the people who jive with you, if you don’t compromise (great minds think alike, right?).
Never stop doing what feels right for you. From the wise words of a friend, you have to put yourself first and do the things that you enjoy. And never change yourself to fit someone else’s mold, because we don’t need another replica in the world; we need more of you.
Don’t ever be afraid to be yourself.
Post inspired by a badass, confident friend, who I wish we could all have in our lives to give us that little push.
Photos by Rooted Trumpet Photography (2019).